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the memories…

Digger in Ferns has been listening INTENTLY to the show – and since his review of the tour is just too long and if you didn’t get to hear it, here’s what you missed.


Week One

Monday 5th July

Ray plays Iron Maiden’s Run to the Hills (How Apt!) then during the news The three Amigos head for motor home to finally see the interior of The Funbus. J.P. has packed the luxury loo roll; Ray has got jam sandwiches and instant coffee, while Ann keeps quiet on the contents of her rucksack, maybe a few cans of Linden Village and some brown schones! Eventually the rig hits the road! Paulie is back at base, Brian’s driving, Pat’s on the mixing desk, Ray’s on the mic, J.P. is on the Horn and Ann is just hangin’out!

After some drive by shoutings, involving The Gardaí, Taxi Drivers, Tourists, Locals, and other radio stations, The Coronas are kidnapped and driven to The Kingdom,(not Kerry, but Ray’s House) Here His Highness gives us a touching display of public affection,(the type usually reserved for Laura Byrne!)But now Mrs. King is the object of his affections on their third wedding anniversary. With the formalities over The Coronas are turfed out on Dublin’s highways and Brian negotiates the long and winding road to Tullfarris House in Blessington where Ann’s “agility and style” with a bow and arrow secures her the big bed for the night.

Following that it’s onwards and downwards, south to Waterford via, Wicklow, Gorey, Enniscorthy, and New Ross, picking up requests and dirty looks all the way to Tramore where the Funbus anchors down for the night at about 10:30pm.One day down, 13 to go, next stop, Waterford city.

Tuesday 6th July

Waterford Crystal becomes the home for the big show. In local news we find out about pink mash, it goes nice with a couple of blahs boy! Oh and that J.P. snores!

Shock Jock, Ray Foley Aged 30 (as featured in the evening Herald) easily dispatches all comers in a face to face round of Ah, yeah, okay. Then after fighting talk from Cork folk, and some free stuff, requests, plugs, and posing for photos the Foley convey do a U-Turn, and at 3:15 head west towards the real capital.

Ann takes En-Route requests through Dungarvan and Youghal.

While Ray and J.P. take on each other in Gears of War! At about 6:40pm the crew reach The Cork City Airport Hotel,

Surprisingly our intrepid explorers decline an offer of a room for the night and prepare for their challenges, its safari so goody for Ann and Ray,

While they hit the high seas in spots -J.P. gets his nails done. Nice!

A little later on Ray and Pat become acquainted with Chardonnay and Merlot in a meeting they would live to regret, the very next day!

Wednesday 7th July

The Funbus occupants are stressed out on Albert Quay as HRH has not yet turned up! Some early morning editing was hampered by Wi-Fi issues and that Chardonnay Wan! However the royal Taxi arrives at 11:45am in time for a fully staffed big show to take on Cork! J.P. is on the horn again as Cork make themselves heard and seen, the “open door policy” results in more free stuff (mostly food). Ann shows her versatility with car park watch and a great impression of Quasimodo using 6 tonne Shandon bells, they’re heavier than the combined weight of Ray, J.P. and Ann! (Which is 34 stone, and rising!)

By 3:20pm the funbus is packed up and ready to go west to via Thurles,Where the crew picked up some nice ice creams and more requests, Capparoe, where J.P. was made look small by an 11 year old skydiving girl! Meanwhile Ray and Ann kicked back and enjoyed some tea, bourbons, and sandwiches courtesy of Mrs Gleeson in Nenagh. Then passing through Castletroy, Ray and his steps come to the attention of the Gardaí. But no major incidents are reported through Limerick and Kilrush and the Funbus reaches its destination, Killkee at about 12:45am.

Thursday 8th July

J.P. was a little cranky when he awoke in a damp and breezy Kilkee; he arose, called his co-inhabitants “lazy Arses” and walked for some breakfast and refreshment! Only to return and find same said lazy arses sharing the bed (Ray stayed in his sleeping bag as he is not a fan of Ann’s black satin sheets!) More Wi-Fi issues force Ann to move to the nearest internet café, then once everyone has their shot of caffeine (and some stronger black stuff courtesy of Shane Lynch) the big show is ready to go!

J.P. converts the Funbus into a crèche, for kilkee’s littler people and in local news we find out that Clare has entered the 21st century with some fancy road resurfacing, broadband access, and GPS guided taxis!

At 2:15pm Ray proves to be a man of his word and heads for the brine, J.P. refuses to accompany the king despite some sound medical advise, as he was wearing “freshwater shorts” but Ray gives the guy a break as he had jumped out of a plane 2 miles up strapped to a springbok the evening before! The King attempts to walk on water giving Pat and Shane reason for concern as they think J.P. and Ann may have to finish the show!

After a few quick photos and a bit more grub, the Funbus travels through Thurles and Nenagh, while J.P. navigates Ann and Ray play beep bingo, the loser buys the toffy pops!

Friday 9th July

The Funbus becomes Today Fm H.Q. at Oxegen. The King and his minions are expelled from the V.I.P. area and forced to stay in a hotel! To make matters worse His Highness has to commute in a normy bus to Punchestown. The big show starts with the best oxegen jingles you’ll ever hear, and then more abuse, Pat is unhappy with the hangover comparisons but not as unhappy as other Radio stations who feel the wrath of the king of the afternoon! (2FM, RedFM, SPIN tin pot FM to mention a few) The king shows them how it’s done with lots of talk about chubby nipples and biscuits!

D.J. Jayo makes an appearance to put the bass into Naas. Car park watch returns with Ray and Louise Duffy. While Mary O’Neill defends BEAT FM’s and AA Roadwatch girls’ Honour. Mix it Friday from Paul includes Choons from Zig and Zag and Pendulum.

Saturday 10th July

Our King is not feeling so royal after a late night at the Jay-Z gig is followed by another Pat Balfe birthday bash! 11am comes round too quickly, Ann sounds rough, J.P. is broken hearted, and K.C. is just broken! There’s no classic 9 at 11, instead we had K.C.’s roving weather report while he was searching for headache tablets and burgers.

Car park watch returns with Scruffy Duffy, and K.C. returns to the Funbus to prove that he can do this job lying down! In fact lying is a thing that K.C. (not his real name)

Is very good at!

It seems Ray finally got revenge on K.C. for putting him on the spot when he was tired and emotional a few months ago by proving that K.C. is a deluded compulsive arm wrestling liar! Dave Davin pops in for an impromptu oxegen acoustic session, while K.C. lurks outside the ladies portaloos hoping to bag Beyoncé. K.C’s portaloo stalking pays off as he gets to meet Ellie Goulding, with his interview done K.C. begins to realise that the day has not been a dream but a living nightmare! Well K.C. that’s what you get for drinking with Paul Mc Cloone!

Sunday 11th July

The Funbus leaves behind the mud sweat and tears of Oxegen and heads north via Moynalty Co. Meath, where Ann gets into a funky ford Cortina seat and gets dropped into some even funkier pond water (with a little help from Ray’s wooden balls!) It was only right as The Crown Prince had dived into the great wide open and his Royal Highness had dipped into the Atlantic waters of Kilkee,

(And anyway she needed a good wash!)

Once the sheep dip was rinsed off it was onwards and upwards fighting global warming on the way by planting saplings in Celbridge, Maynooth, Dunboyne, Dunshaughlin, The Hill of Tara, Cavan, Kells, Carrickmacross (Where Mrs Gillbourne is From) Through Castleblaney then finally arriving at Monaghan.

Monday 12th July

The Funbus parks skaways outside The Hill Grove Hotel in Monaghan.

J.P. was a little upset after the wee County were robbed at the Leinster Football Final,

Then to make matters worse he was assaulted by Barney Rubble AND broke his horn,

Ooo badjob! The Farney Army were out in force, looking for plugs,

Free stuff and requests, (Paulie back at base confused Cheryl Cole with Cheryl Crow.)

In local news Kevin Mc Bride returned to professional boxing with a bout in Poughkeepsie, New York.

While closer to home, local lady Edie Wynne became the deputy lord mayor of Dublin.

Ray leaves Monaghan without telling the lovely Clare his Ferrari joke and goes further north to Aughnacloy where he dons an orange boiler suit and off he marches!

No, not recreate the battle of the Boyne but to blast his best mate (and Ann) with Paintballs, all that playing of “Gears” on the Funbus paid off,

As Ray opens a big can of Whoopass onto privates Gilbourne and Gleeson

Then the three warriors retreat to the all terrain Winnebago and head west for Sligo.

Tuesday 13th July

After another uneasy night off and on the wagon, the Funbus pulls up outside Eason’s of O’Connell Street Sligo. Where the big show has everyone in good spirits until the conversation meanders; disturbingly, Ray and J.P. discuss their kacks

J.P. suggests that the king should have his man parts hypnotised to be comfortable in tighter intimate nether garments, YES LIVE ON AIR THE RAY FOLEY SHOW, QUITE LITERALLY, TURNED TO PANTS!

Lucky for us E.J’s menswear was on hand with new manly undergarments for all of the Funbus five, (Yes Ann ASWELL!)

Ah Yeah Okay is taken with a pinch of salt and a scone for the losers.

Then the lady who babysat the King before Adelle got the job, called in to say hello.

After an all too brief stint in Sligo the Funbus heads south west to Mayo, poor Ann gets very excited and almost needs her medication while visiting Ballina and the crew get to meet The King’s Ma and Da, see his old house and St.Murdoch’s where Ray spent most of his school days. Then it’s downhill through Foxford and around some of Castlebar’s numerous roundabouts (just for Brian’s amusement!) Before settling in at the Westport house caravan park. While Brian and the Funbus get emptied out and juiced up, The Foley show challenge takes them to Irelands only Fjord for some ringo riding and Killary harbour karaoke where Ann and J.P. hit a few “BUM NOTES” during their renditions of

Don’t stop believing and Take on me, as consolation Ray promises comfy chairs and refreshing drinks (non-alcoholic, of course) for the sore arsed troubadours.

Wednesday 14th July

The Funbus leaves the caravan park and its late night revellers behind and heads for the Octagon…DA DA DAAA! Westport’s very sinisterly named landmark. Meanwhile back at base Carrass is not so class, he is the glue that has held the big show together and he is feeling very icky! Nevertheless the show must go on, and it does so with imaginative and creative use of its surroundings, in other words plugging every business in sight!

This tactic has pays off again as the Foley show receive loads of free stuff, to have and share including a “Love The Show” cake for Ann, and some lunchtime cocktails,

(Non-alcoholic of course) as it’s a long way down to the town of the tribes.

After holding up the traffic long enough in Westport the Funbus again goes south, taking on more roundabouts in Castlebar, on to Claremorris through Tuam and all along the famed N17 with villages and towns too numerous to mention, just passing through Claregalway and touching down in Bushy Park, (that sounds all warm and fuzzy!)

The challenge takes place in the grounds of the Glenlo Abbey Hotel a place fit for a King, to clay pigeon shoot! Ann eventually opts out after remembering a clay pigeon she had as a child, leaving The Crown Prince and HRH to slug it out. At last we hear the now famous J.P. “YEAH!” as he pulls one back for the boys. Mealtime takes the three to “The Twelve” in Barna for a good ole feed, and then its back to the van called home for another night!

Thursday 15th July

The big show’s big bus parks up in Eyre Square outside the Meyrick Hotel.

And while Ann gets her hooves done in the whimper room out back,

(Courtesy of Denise from spirit and the Radisson.)

Supermacs’ supply the masses with Shhnack Boxes and Curry Chips and Ray finally gets to meet Sinead and Superbunny! Edwin Lyons’ Ma and Da call in for some chips and chat, and lots of teachers say Yeah, in Ahh Yeah, Okay, while J.P. is still on the horn!

In local news, who really cares, the new album from only corpses and fumes is out now!

Galway’s first mattress recycling company have sprung into action and Rickshaws have been given the go ahead to continue operations in the cities’ pedestrian zones.

After the usual plugs and giveaways the Funbus is Midland bound.

Through Athenry, avoiding the puns and stopping in Ballinasloe to make a quick phone call on Rhoda’s dodgy phone. After some chat it’s on to The Hodson Bay Hotel,

For an overnight stay in the car park, but only after Ray and Ann journey to the centre of the land, in kayaks, the challenge- is to get the flag, the reward- is a slap up meal with J.P

Ray splashes about like a trout possessed, but Ann perseveres in her junior size 14 to 15 wetsuit, and in the end Ray has to buy his own curry chips!

Friday 16th July

The last day has finally come and the Funbus heads for its final destination,

Golden Island Shopping Centre Athlone. The king is delivered to ego central thanks to expectant father and taxi driver David Hennessy. Ruth from piñatas piñatas delivers a

J.P. lookalike for Ann to batter the bejesus outta of it! Mr Balfe was unhappy when the sweets and the confetti hit the fan, but the free malteser cheese cake, Krispie cakes and non alcoholic cocktails soon cheered everyone up! The crew get another visitor as D.J Jayo pulls up outside in a lime green Civic but doesn’t stay long outside the pale and heads back as fast as his alloys can carry him.

Happy hour includes No Mercy with where do you go, my lovely which bares a strange resemblance to a Foley Classic about Ballinasloe!

Paul’s Mix it Friday ends the fortnight on a high note with a mix that includes the aptly titled tunes friends in low places and Home and away.

It was the best of times it was the worst of times,

It was a tale of three cities,

One music festival,

Five towns and all that was in between.

It was one team, with one goal,

To deliver, “just a bit of fun for your lunchtime”

(A busload of it!)

Cheers Guys


Digger in Ferns.


  1. lisamcguinness said...
    Digger is the man! A bit of a scary man but ya gotta love his passion for the King.
    Dave said...
    Did this digger guy not get beat up enough as a child? Because he seriously needs to get a life, Foley stop encouraging him,you are only assisting,in what is inevitably going to end with one delusional lonely man going on a killing spree!!!!
    ruth said...
    Thanks to Digger for the apt discription of how my visit went and remember that if any of you would also like a JP lookalike than you can get in touch through I've been busy working on a Ray lookalike since!!!
    Pinatas Pinatas

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